I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
