i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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