This girl is more easily done than said...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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