we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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