Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
