We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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