if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The Olympian is in my bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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