is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
