don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
