Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
