she looked like the before picture.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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