So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i came on her dog
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
