thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
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Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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