I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
