Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
