Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
