Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
