My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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