Can i not drive my cunt home
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize