I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Congratulations! We have a period
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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