I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize