I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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