i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
