i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
