my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize