K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
