Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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