I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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