just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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