A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
