he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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