Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
