hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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