everyone is single if you try hard enough
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
