the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
