Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
