She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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