Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
