hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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