The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
