google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The struggles of a small town man whore
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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