I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
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I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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