Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
