I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
