I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
