I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
