This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
