Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize