i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
