I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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