She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Life is so much better after having sex.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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