can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
