Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
