We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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