Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
