I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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