fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
