Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
