There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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