Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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