every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
