can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Drake has all the answers
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize