no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
