I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
